i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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