ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I supernannyed him into submission
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
