Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
