Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
