Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
