at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
