Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
