Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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