i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
