ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
