I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
