So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
