No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My dick has a subreddit
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
