1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
