I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
