i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
