I must be too annoying 4 u.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
