so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
