): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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