From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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