im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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