Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
