Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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