I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
