rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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