I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you still have your period?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
