someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
