just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
