I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No subtext here. People are naked.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
