hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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