It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
