Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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