Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
