Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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