so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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