My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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