This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
