It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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