he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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