Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
