Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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