Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
