i would punch a child for taco bell
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
