Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
