Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
