She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
