i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
