Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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