So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
