He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
