she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My cat gives me a boner
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
