i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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