if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
