My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
