i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
