and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
