I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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