sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
as a side note pls kill me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
